10 Reasons to Attend / Skip Your High School Reunion

July 17, 2012
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Should You Go To Your High School Reunion?

Whether taking place over summers, winters, or Thanksgiving weekends, adults with high school reunions to attend in increments varying from 5 to god-knows-how-many years have to decide if they shall attend. We can see both sides of it. Here are lists outlining some reasons why people may or may not wish to attend a high school reunion. Seriously.

Reasons to Attend High School Reunion
1. You still live in your hometown, and it’s unlikely you’ll have anything better to do.
2. Living well is the best revenge (and how else will people know you have a hot spouse?)
3. One of the few people you actually like is on the reunion committee and you want the event to be successful for his/her sake.
4. You are still so full of vestigial consternation about your teen years, and this represents a rare, tangible chance to confront your past to help you move on.
5. Captive audience to hit people up for freelance work.
6. Through either the trauma of experiencing it or subsequent drug activity, you’ve repressed or forgotten almost everybody and everything about high school, so this’ll be like meeting all new people.
7. You’ve been unduly influenced by Romy & Michele or Grosse Pointe Blank.
8. Looking to recapture that spark of optimism that you haven’t seen in decades.
9. Looking to recapture the rage that used to drive you from the people who initially catalyzed it.
10. You’re a masochist.

Reasons to Skip High School Reunion
1. You still live in your hometown, and there’s nothing new or unusual about seeing people from high school.
2. Anybody you give a shit about you’ve probably kept in touch with,
or gotten in touch with through social media.
3. A Facebook-style arm’s-length relationship is perfect for ex-classmates. Let’s keep it that way.
4. Why the fuck should you pay money to spend time with people you
never knew/especially liked?
5. Things from the past are better viewed through glasses increasingly tinted rose-colored by decades gone by.
6. There will almost surely be shitty ’90s (or whenever) music.
7. You hate talking about yourself/hate listening to people talk about themselves.
8. Your expectations are really high, and you’re only going to be disappointed.
9. Drinking legally with the people you used to drink with illegally can only pale in comparison. Where’s the danger?
10. You got fat.

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