We’ll agree that pirates are pretty darned cool — at least Cap’n Jack Sparrow-type pirates, not those Somali schmucks that are actually, you know, plundering on the high seas.
But isn’t celebrating the annual “International Talk Like a Pirate Day,” on Saturday, Sept. 18, only by talking like a pirate a little pedestrian? Predictable? A little too on-the-nose?
We humbly present a treasure trove full of activities than can help your Talk Like a Pirate Day be more than an exercise in parody.
- Read a book, me hearties: From Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island,” to Tom Sawyer,” there is no shortage of all-ages literature that most anyone can enjoy. However, the pirate-related book we’d most recommend (probably to more mature audiences) is Pirate Hunter: The True Story of Captain Kidd by Richard Zacks. Showing truth to be stranger — and much more interesting — than fiction, this book the parallel lives of Cap’n Kidd, who was a privateer that hunted pirates (though was accused of being one himself), and Robert Culliford, Kidd’s nemesis.
- Fight off scurvy, ye dogs — the fun way: Lest yer teeth fall out, ye needs to be full of the Vitamin C! Here’s a recipe for a lime-based cocktail that can infuse you with that powerful disease fighter, and, more importantly, lift your spirits:
The C Shanty
In a pitcher, combine:
— the juice of nine limes (approx one cup)
— once cup of simple syrup,
— 1/2 cup of orange liqueur,
— one cup rum, and
–3/4 cup orange juice.
(For the kiddies, just make lime-aid)
- X marks the spot: a real-life treasure hunt: Geocaching a recreational treasure hunt of sorts. As you might expect, geocaching.com explains it best: Using your GPS device, track down hidden containers, locate hidden containers, called geocaches, outdoors and then share your experiences online. According to the site, there are 902,525 geocaches scattered throughout the world; geocaching.com provides a search feature that can point you to the treasures closest to your area.
- Thar be swinging of the plank: Baseball fans, anyone? The Pittsburgh Pirates are taking on the San Diego Padres. It could be fun to talk like that kind of Pirate too. Baseball has a history of colorful language.
- Forget Pirate Gold! How about Pirate Golf!: If you don’t mind sitting through a 20-second commercial, you can play flash-based Pirate Golf Adventure. It’s fun, at least for a few minutes. And you can hit the ball even when it’s in the air! Laws of physics be damned!
There you have it, readers — five easy ways to overdo a holiday most people ignore anyway. Now get outta here before I keelhauls ya!